Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i think i just lost a toe
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
