Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
