So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
