So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
