Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
