I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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