We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
