OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
