I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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