I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
