I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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