Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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