What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
