hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
and you said cock pushups were impossible
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
