I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
