the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I could make wine with my vomit
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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