I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pants are for mortals
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
