I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
