bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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