so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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