so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
