the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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