doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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