I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
