bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
