Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
