But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
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i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
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Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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