New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
how does that bad decision feel?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
