Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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