New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
