dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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