you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
