Cold hands, warm shart.
The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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