I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
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have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
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I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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