the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
