you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
