Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
