Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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