Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
