I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
