She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
