If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
