dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
