you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
