I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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