I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
