No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
