so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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