Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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