Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize