I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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