Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i out mim tonsoeep
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