you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
