I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
