he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize