did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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