Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
