Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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