I just made out with a guy for $7.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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