Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
